How a Nicene Bishop Stole Saturnalia

In keeping with the season and good holiday cheer, 
Here's something I've written for Saturnalia this year.
It may contain elements you never have heard,
But they were not fashioned by me, however absurd.

No need to trust me, you can click on this link
Then in the comments below let me know what you think.
So without further delay I offer this poem, 
Not like my usual long-winded tome.

How a Nicene Bishop Stole Saturnalia


Twas’ a time long ago, in a place known as Nice, 
Where some councilmen penned a cold, yet heated device. 
From abroad these leaders came and drafted a creed, 
Which for years from then onward the Church would mislead. 

One attendee present refused to agree, 
To this idea of God they labeled “Trinity.” 
Such an act of defiance caused a stir that was quick, 
And up with a flash jumped a saint later called Nick. 

He waved his fist, shouted and called him a name, 
Saying God’s persons were separate, yet still all the same. 
To suggest Christ was a creature did such anger incite, 
And caused the charitable Bishop to resort to a fight. 

This man from Myra himself did abase, 
By striking poor Arius right in the face. 
Why was the Alexandrian struck so hard on the cheek, 
When as a presbyter wasn’t even permitted to speak? 

It just goes to show one's view will be counted as rot, 
If it’s sang of the son, “there was a time when he was not.” 
Thus began an age of heretic hunting and barbarian acts, 
When many were slain rejecting these Trinitarian “facts.” 

Reformation again was still yet to come, 
Resulting in more unneeded martyrdom. 
This was not of the Christ, nor of his God, 
But rather a sham, a Christian façade. 

I will end this small tale which is in many ways tall: 
When your stockings are hung neatly up on your wall, 
And the soft, gentle snowflakes have started to fall, 
If you’re waiting for Santa be ready to brawl.

For he may come slinking or sneaking about, 
If he’s heard that Jesus’ homoousios you doubt. 
Don’t worry or panic, merely cover your chin, 
If you’re a Socinian or Arian Unitarian.

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